SURVIVOR vs. VICTIM

So I have been seeing a therapist. There I said it! I can almost hear the gasp from my more "conservative" friends over the computer. My work offers 6 free sessions and I decided after a few panic attacks and some bad weeks that it was merited. Turns out they helpful. Who knew?

This week he told me that there are two kinds of people that he sees. Type A are the ones who LEARN AND GROW from their tragedy. Type B are the ones who choose more self destructive behavior to adapt to the tragedy. It is really probably how the whole world is divided:
the VICTIMS and the SURVIVORS.

Not gonna lie, not sure completely where I will end up...kinda teetering between the two right now, but I know which one I want to be and so I will try to continue to make HEALTHY CHOICES (yes another psychotherapy term) to become a survivor on the other end of this.

I have an enormous amount of anger. Which I don't find bad. Heck, M.A.D.D. (Mothers Against Drunk Drivers) was created out of some angry mommies using their voice for a positive change. I feel I am on the cusp of helping foster a change for better.

The week leading up to my mom's death she shared a lot of important information with me. Some of which I am remiss to admit I am already forgetting, some of which is only for her and me but the one piece of information that I will never forget and must be shared is that:
LIFE IS FOR THE LIVING!
We have but one life and we must live to the height of what God intended for us. Mom whispered to me one day, "people are watching". Anyone who has gone through loss feels the eyes of many on them.

Cindy Crawford was being interviewed about loosing her little brother to leukemia. She says she feels like his death was the BOOSTER ROCKET that thrust her life in action. You know what a booster rocket is?

WIKIPEDIA: A booster rocket (or engine) is either the first stage of a multi-stage launch vehicle, or else a strap-on rocket used to augment the core launch vehicle's takeoff thrust and payload capability. Boosters are generally necessary to launch spacecraft into Earth orbit or beyond. In all cases, the booster is dropped into the ocean once its fuel is expended, a point known as booster engine cut-off (BECO). The rest of the launch vehicle continues flight with its core or upper stage engines. The booster may be recovered and reused, as in the case of the Space Shuttle.

It is the engine that propels the rocket into space but falls off as the shuttle goes of into space. While I have no intention of (or genetics) for being a supermodel, I know EXACTLY what she meant. The loss of my mom and my daughter are MY BOOSTER ROCKET!