I survived hearing Claudette's birth date all night since my sweet patient had the same birthday. (If you have been in a hospital lately you have to give your name and date of birth for pretty much everything now.)
I survived finding out a nurse was pregnant.
I survived having to explain to my patient why the supervisor said "welcome back" to me...which may have actually worked to my advantage because the cantankerous patient said, "Oh, I guess I will be nice to you tonight then."
At about 11.25 hours in, I was feeling pretty confident in my nursing skills and happy to be back using my brain when I turned around to someone coming at me like a kid in a candy store to my belly.. .
"OHHH, OHHH congrats!!!" <grabs my chubby belly> "CONGRATS!!" <Looks in my eyes> This is the part I think ok she is going to back off. < nervous giggles> "Are you sure you are not pregnant??"
Ok, here is the point I thought I might punch her in the throat. You see this wasn't just a silly person who doesn't understand mommy has had a horrible time loosing the 11 lbs 13oz of baby chub even though she works out daily and barely has put a carb in her month for 8 weeks. This is a person who did almost the SAME EXACT thing to me after I lost the twins. I thought she got it then...but no. She also did it several months later the same day that I took a pregnancy test and had a big fat negative! So as you can imagine I was starting to get a little low on tolerance by now.
I walked away...shaking but calmly. Vented to a sweet friend and was able to leave with out crying...until I hit the car ride home.
Yes, I know what it is like to be asked if you are pregnant and not be pregnant (I have been asked pretty much weekly since I delivered Henry, so I understand people don't get it). I know people make mistakes, so I decided to just let you live in her ignorant bliss, because frankly people shouldn't have to know what a belly and no baby after loosing your child feels like. But, it still hurts and it just reminds me all the more how lonely this journey can be.
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| Not to self: purchase this shirt before returning to work again |
4 comments:
Belly and not pregnant here too. Hugs momma, you got through it!
There is something about loss that makes you incredibly vulnerable and self conscious (do you know what I mean?). You'll get through it and find your confidence / mojo again! Maybe then you can re-educate that co-worker on social rules. Yes it is okay for one to NOT say anything and NOT talk about a pregnancy before said "pregnant" woman talks about it first!!!!!
After I lost my son a cashier at a clothing store (it was not a maternity store!) asked me when I was due. I told her I had already had my baby and that he had died. She continued to fuss about how she didn't know because she hadn't seen the baby. Again I told her that my baby had died. She looked at me and said, "Enjoy your new shirts!" Sometimes people need to not talk especially when it comes to pregnancy!
Thanks for kind words! So sorry you had to go thru that Kristen!
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