We had a beautiful ceremony in remembrance. 365 balloons released. Many tears and sadness. Lots of laughter and love. 365 balloons. Over 300 books to donated. Cookies. Cupcakes. Cake.
But now life "starts" without you.
No first year bubble of friends and family protecting my heart.
I am supposed to be okay after a year. I am supposed to "move on" and be strong now. I know better. I know you are permentantly a part of me. There is a piece of my heart missing in the shape of you.
I am scared. I don't want to go on the rest of my life without you in it.
I don't want to celebrate holidays while your body lays in the cold earth. I long to be with you in heaven. I long to have all of us together.
I miss my mom so much too.
Everyday is so lonely without a mom but the holidays highlight the void.
I wish so desperately you both could be with us.