FOUR Words

Four words. Small in length, yet their power is like no other set of words placed together.

For those of us who have had baby loss, we recognize their power and the way in which they impact our lives like no other.

On July 31st 2011, I heard them spoken to me for the first time:
"There is NO heartbeat."
It stopped me in my tracts right there and the power of the them has not since been released.

One year ago today, we heard the words every mother longs to hear,
"THAT IS THE HEARTBEAT!"

We were sitting in the ultrasound room and felt elated yet cautiously safe. I was 2 months.
I went on to have ultrasound after ultrasound...
166 BPM, 145BPM, 160BPM. "LUB DUB, LUB DUB, LUB DUB."

I grew to love that sound and I think paced my own heartbeat with hers.

Four months and one day ago, I heard the haunting words again,
"There is NO heartbeat!"

This time I wasn't so easily convinced. NO, YOU LISTEN!!! Pulling the scanner from the tech and handing it to the OB. "I'm sorry. NO." I still wasn't convinced even until the time they laid her precious body in my arms.

These four words connect us all who have lost. For those of us who have lost someone before their time they will forever have power over us.

But on this good Friday, I am choosing to allow four different words to have the ultimate power over me,

"HE is RISEN indeed!"

These words create incredible HOPE for me and YOU...and if you are like me you could use a hefty dose of hope about now!

My mother and daughter's grave.