But why are we adopting?
Because we can no longer carry children?
Because Christ ask us to take care of the orphans?
Because it's our last resort?
Because we want to?
The fact of the matter is we can carry children. In fact, we are super fertile so we have to be pretty aggressive about preventing it while still maintaining our religious believes about some contraceptives.
And yes, we would love the idea of helping orphans and/or the fatherless like Christ ask us to, but that is not why we choose adoption, at least not completely. Frankly, anyone can help orphans and/or the fatherless without adopting, and adopting doesn't always mean you are helping the orphans or fatherless. It is not always the "Mother Teresa adoptive mom" coming to the rescue of the "poor, uneducated birth mom" as it is often portrayed. Adoption can be that. But that is not adoption.
It is not our last resort. We have other options. Like I said I can carry children or I can have others carry our child for us , as in a surrogacy, which would most likely be the only safest option since carrying another child brings huge risk to the baby and me. Or we could just be "content" with the children we already have as it have been suggested to us.
The truth is we are adopting because we want to. We feel like it is a good fit for us. No, it is NOT AN EASY CHOICE. But it is a CHOICE...a choice we made. People all come to adoption for different reasons. For us it was always part of our vernacular. But in reality if our five biological children would have lived, I don't think adoption is something we would of or could of done...my breaking point is sooner than I would like to admit.
So a few weeks ago, I was headed to pick up Henry from kindergarten. It is only a 3:28 minute drive (yes I have timed it), so it happened quickly. I was sitting there thinking of our child-to-be. It wasn't a child that looked like us, or smelt like us, or acted like us, but here is the life-changing part: IT WAS OUR CHILD!! It was Henry, Amelie, and Claudie's sibling. My husband's pride and joy and MY BABY. But the time I was in the mini-van procession line I was a bucket of tears. By the time the side door jarred opened and Henry jumped in the backseat, I was inconsolable.
"Are you sad, mommy?" He sweetly asked.
"No, hunny. These are happy tears! I am HAPPY!"
You see for the first time I realized, my dreams and desires were not just for Claudie to return or to be pregnant again (both of which will never go away), but my dreams were to adopt!!
I do not know how it exactly happened and I am not blind to the fact that this journey is still a steep hill, covered with sharp rocks. but for now all I can think about is my dream!