Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Two Years

Dear Claudette Elyse,
Saturday the 29th will mark two official years since we held you.
In that time frame a lifetime has changed for your mommy.  You may have noticed I haven't blogged in a long time. I thought the unexpected arrival making you a big sister would bring so many words and thoughts to my mind, but really it has confused me and made me numb most days.

With each passing day without you I feel a bit more lost. I am hoping one day I will wake up and make sense of all this reality, but until then I just am trying to be the best version of mommy I can be. That probably comes off like a feeble attempt to most people, but you and I know I am doing my best.

Last year you inspired over 700 random acts of kindness. Local media was so inspired they wrote of your impact. It was awe-inspiring.

This year mommy planned on spending time with you on your birthday at the place  I feel closest to you, the ocean. Life gave us another big curve ball and grandma got very sick and we couldn't go. But we are very thankful your brother and sister have another Thanksgiving with their beloved grandma, so we count that as a win.

So we decided we would go to Boise and spend your birthday with Auntie Aryn and Auntie Audra and family. Nope, our 28 year old furnace had other ideas for that too.

So here we are two days before your birthday without plans (you know mommy likes to have her plans). Heck, your headstone hasn't even been decorated. In all truth, I don't really like visiting you out there and haven't been since spring. But you know that.

So with Thanksgiving, Black Friday and then D-day ahead of us how do we memorialize you this year love?
Well, I think the big reason God kept changing our plans is because his was better...always is right?

A little over a three months ago, the earth lost an incredible little man named Mattie that likes using his little body to change the world like you. He was adopted at birth into an incredible family, I MEAN INCREDIBLE! You know the kind that has 3 crazy, cool biological kids then decides to adopt 4 crazy, cool adopted kids most with special needs because that's just who they are. They gave a voice to the non-verbal little guy and he changed the world with his short visit here (sound familiar?). I fell in love with him via FB post and Instagram pics. I wept when he coded multiple times and everyone thought his life was over then. I grinned despite myself when he went on to live and laugh and love on this earth for close to another year.
This was a picture taken at his birthday party: 
Yep, his family likes awesome parties too! 

So I got to thinking since you and me Claudie like to help change the world one person at a time how we could help this incredible family. See the Loux family is self-employed you know doing things like helping bring home orphans to loving families and empowering people who feels powerless by giving them health and vitality through their wellness program. It's pretty cool to watch. I met Mattie's mommy because she was going to help us bring home our baby...and she is just not in the way we thought. 

So Mattie needs a headstone! You know yours was paid for by an incredible organization. But their funds are low and they were only able to help pay for a little of what was needed for Mattie's. I know I have friends that are EXTREMELY GIVING! 

So in honor of you sweet one and your new heavenly buddy, Mattie I am asking all my friends to give just a few dollars to help this sweet family have a headstone for their son by Christmas. I did the math and even if all my friends gave two dollars we would have a headstone for Mattie!!

Think we can do it sweetheart? Ya, me too!

Love you more than words and happy 2 years old in heaven,