Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Post Your HATEFUL Comments...Really {An open letter to Miss O'neal}

Dear Miss O'neal,
Yesterday, I blogged how I don't feel like writing unless something is getting me fired up. Minutes after I published that blog,  I got a google notification.  When I clicked on the link I saw this:


Needless to say I got FIRED UP!

It was not what I was expecting, but I can't say I was surprised. After hours of confused thoughts going through my mind, it dawned on me, my biggest question was why? Why take the time to search a you tube video then take even more time to comment on it so hatefully? Well, I guess the obvious answer is attention. Then again the question arises, why? Well maybe just to hurt me over the interweb with your keypad-given super powers? Or maybe a cry for help? I can't really answer why. But I do know HURT PEOPLE HURT.

So I am not mad at you Miss O'neal. In fact, I spent all night tossing and turning and praying...yes PRAYING FOR YOU. I gather you are probably very young. Maybe your parents are not giving what you need for attention. Maybe you don't know one or both your parents. Maybe, you have been wronged by someone recently or continually over the span of your life.

My initial hurt for myself and my children (who are now young readers and could read the hurtful comment) turned to hurt for YOU and YOUR circumstances. I mean what makes someones mind think it is okay to say something like that to another human being? Short of psychopathic behavior, it has to be PAIN, deep-rooted pain. So I spent the majority of night worried about you. Are you OK? Do you need help? Do you need LOVE? 

We all have a journey. We all have pain. Some more deep than others. We all react differently. Perhaps, you only know how to lash out in passive-aggressive manners to be heard. I am here to tell you, I get it! I have been there. No, I would never try to directly cause another so much pain in such a blatant way, but I too have lashed out. Hurt others so my personal pain would lesson.  I am also here to tell you there is another way...a way that works!  It is called FORGIVENESS. It is the hardest of task and yet the only one that can set you free. Truly free. See hate only hurts yourself in the end. So forgive, let go and search some you tube videos today and makes some anonymous comments of LOVE. I don't say this to be self-righteous. I say this because I was where you are and by turning my daughter's death into something greater than the pain, forgiving me and all the others that have wronged me along the way has caused me JOY, yes JOY in the midst of incredible pain.

But something else also came out of my restless sleep, Miss O'neal: PASSION! You see I will not make my account private. I will not BLOCK you. I will not DELETE my FB pages or hide my daughter's pictures to make you or anyone else more comfortable. I will not even do it to protect my heart or my children's. See the worst has already been done to us and no words or actions can make us back down from the incredible GOOD my daughter (yes my dead daughter) gives. Your and others comments have made me think I need to hide my journey, BUT I WILL NOT!

I WILL CONTINUE TO SPEAK HER NAME, POST HER PICTURES, CARRY HER LEGACY NOT ONLY IN MY HEART BUT IN MY ACTIONS. I will continue to do to make good out of the bad. To heal me. To heal others and perhaps even to heal you in some small way!

SO POST YOUR HATEFUL COMMENTS AWAY!

Sincerely,
Someone who cares more about you than it seems you care about yourself

P.s. Here is the actual video again. I welcome you to post something kind:
http://youtu.be/S4fm4lVdyYE

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear this people are so selfish and insensitive most likely was an kid/teenager. Doesn't matter they should have control.

I have had other supposed grieving mothers try to say my daughter was never dead or wasn't mine no matter what I did, even people say burn in hell, people would say my daughter was ugly.

Chin up and don't let them win. Sorry for your loss mama

Anonymous said...

I agree that only a psychopath or someone with deep rooted issues would post something so vile. You have proved yourself to be the better person by showing this girl love and understanding rather than backing down or lashing out at her for the pain and hurt she has caused you and your family. Continue on your journey as you are clearly on the right path. Hopefully this girl might be touched by your words and actions. I am sorry for your loss and have no doubt your beautiful angel baby is in the arms of Yehoshua. From one angel baby mama to another; carry on showing the world that experiencing such a loss isn't the end. Much love and respect x

Anonymous said...

I agree that only a psychopath or someone with deep rooted issues would post something so vile. You have proved yourself to be the better person by showing this girl love and understanding rather than backing down or lashing out at her for the pain and hurt she has caused you and your family. Continue on your journey as you are clearly on the right path. Hopefully this girl might be touched by your words and actions. I am sorry for your loss and have no doubt your beautiful angel baby is in the arms of Yehoshua. From one angel baby mama to another; carry on showing the world that experiencing such a loss isn't the end. Much love and respect x

Carrie said...

It made my heart happy to read your words here. While I'm not glad that this happened to you or that you were hurt, I am blessed by your response which comes from a place of love.

Love always wins.

Alyvia Elliott said...

Thanks everyone! You are right Carrie in the end LOVE does always win!

Betty Fletcher McAleavey said...

I hope the person finds whatever it is they lack in life. Nobody can ever hurt you with words if you feel sympathy for the person who spends their time searching ..

Tisha Temple said...

I applaud you, honestly I have felt the need to hide parts of our life to some. They can't seem to handle the knowledge that things like this actually do happen. Yet seeing her words about your precious daughter fired me up too! And in the end, after reading your precious words,I know God placed this in front of me to read today. You are so right, that we should pray even harder for those that hurt and don't seek hope. We are the strong ones that can keep walking after we wanted to not ever move again. We are the ones that offer forgiveness because we know how short and brief and cruel life can truly be. So my sweet sister in loss, thank you for your words, your commitment to honesty and above all your LOVE for life!!! BIG HUGS AND LOTS OF LOVE from my family to yours :)