Hey Lovey!

Good morning little miss Claude-hopper!

I miss you so much today...but you already know that.

Yesterday was St.Valentine's Day. All in all it was a really good day!!
We started the day by making heart-shaped pancakes with your brother and
sister.

Then we made little personalized Valentines.

(The mess was horrible by the time we were done)

Henry was less than impressed with all the pink this holiday brings...

 

Amelie couldn't get enough of it!

(Pretty impressed she did her name all by herself.)

I made you a little Valentine...

(Sorry, we are not blessed with crafty genes)

Poppy stopped by and brought me treats. He has done this since I was a little girl. It means more than he realizes.

After naps and swimming lessons...

We made heart-shaped pizza.

 

Daddy brought me home the best chocolate in town...

 

...and a gorgeous card filled with handwritten words on that mommy will treasure for always. I will save you from embarrassment by sharing it.

Mr. and Mrs. G offered to watch your brother and sister so we could go out for a bit.
While they were having their little party...

(We found out Mr. Henry likes to cheat at Candy Land)

we were having a little party of our own...

At first mommy felt silly wearing the dress I got to wear at your funeral, but as your cousin Cahlea told me, "all outfits really do is hold memories." So I decided to add another memory to the pretty black and gold dress Aunt Jan and Cahlea purchased for me the night before we buried you. By 9pm I was feeling less like a grieving mommy and more like a hot date.

It was so nice to sit and talk with daddy about how silly your brother and sister are and how much we wish we could watch you grow with them. We love to sit and dream about our future together.

Isn't daddy handsome?

 Currently, we are discussing our plans for this old house. PAINTING is #1. The brown has got to go, right?! We also want to put in a perfect little patio in the back and have a great play area for Henry and Amelie. What do you think they would like more: a sandbox or their own little flower garden? I want them to do a flower garden were we can watch little flowers get bigger in honor of you. Would you like that? Valentine's day is such a nice time to just get away to talk and dream a bit. Mommy and daddy think it is very important to take time to do this no matter how much time or money you have.

Today while Henry was at PreK, your sister and I went to go visit your grave site. I feel bad I have only been there a handful of times lovey. But I know you are not there and honestly I don't like the idea of your shell shivering in the cold. At breakfast I asked what the kids wanted to bring to you. Henry wanted you to have a snack. He thinks you are hungry. He worries about if you are hungry or need a diaper change a lot. He decided an apple would be a perfect treat for you. (We don't need to tell him about the fact you don't have any teeth). Amelie said, "she needs her baby toy mommy" and brought down the little red headed rattle doll she had on her car seat when she was a baby. I decided to bring your less than creative Valentine and off we went to drop Henry at school and then visit you.

I was devastated when I got there and realized the beautiful pink roses daddy and I brought you a few weeks ago had flew away in the wind. Amelie and I decided to zip up our coats and go hunting for them. Your sister ran around finding baby pink roses and singing loudly, "Clean up! Clean up! It is what we have to do! Clean up! Clean up! It's fun for me and you!" I found it less fun and cried miserably as I gathered the now faded and frozen roses that had been so beautiful the day we got them.

(Pleased with herself for gathering all the roses back together)

After we tried to put them nicely back together, I stood there in tears and didn't know how to say goodbye...again. But true to form big sis was a big boss and said, "it's too cold out here! Let's go!!!" And ran to the van.  She is right.  It is too cold out there! Glad you are not there and are instead nestled in grandma's arm and Jesus' embrace.

(A snack from brother, a toy from sister, roses from daddy, and Valentine from mommy. All for you my lovey.)