Cardiomegaly.
An enlarged heart.
That is what the autopsy showed.
A heart too big for your little body.
Your heart outgrew you.
I think that is pretty much as fitting a diagnosis as we could get. After all, we know there are no bonds of what your little body and huge heart can accomplish.
Valentine's Day is fast approaching and I feel a hole in my heart the shape of you. But I am often reminded of why you died. How you died. I start to go down a bad path of whether or not you had pain. Did you suffer? Or did you simply fade from my belly to God's arms?
I suspect you suffered. Others have tried to convince me other wise but I remember your tugs and painful pulls the last few days and my instincts feel you were in pain.
I try not to focus on that. It is a sticky, painful and fruitless path.
Instead I try to grasp on that diagnosis. An enlarged heart.
I like to think you loved too much to live in this old, ugly world. And somehow your big heart transcends death and inspires ME and countless others to widen our hearts!
No comments:
Post a Comment