Dead surrounds me. Death of babies. Death of mom. Death of patients. Death of former self. Death of future.
But with all this, I am more ALIVE than ever.
You think are you invincible, then you lose something quickly and tragically. This is when you know life is short and fleeting and you are anything but invincible.
However, the irony lies in that once death touches you, your life awakens and you are more ALIVE than ever before.
In fact, you are so alive that the bereaved often try to numb the reality of it with food, drugs, alcohol ect. But I got to thinking yesterday that really it is a gift, this LIFE that has been handed to me. Most go through their lives meaningless and numb really. I know I was. I am ALIVE because there is no living in the dark now. There is no half-hearted sentiment that comes from me as it used to.
I have a deep appreciation for the futility of hanging on to earth's empty gifts. I long now for heaven. It has torn away the fear of dying that always held me so close and kept a part of me dead.
1 comment:
I feel the same way since we lost our Norah! Norah brought us both back to God, who had been absent from our lives for such a long time. Now my husband and I both long for Heaven and love God far more than the things of this earth. We are born again and truly ALIVE in Jesus and in God's grace and infinite love. We miss Norah every day, but what a gift that little girl gave us in her leaving. I can't wait to meet her in Heaven some day. <3 <3 <3 to you, and thank you for so beautifully capturing what I've been feeling lately.
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