So many people have expressed the need for me to stay busy. They say it will help to "get my mind off stuff."
Well, I am here to say that if a twelve hour shift at the hospital wherein I can't so much as have time to pee or first-aiding forty plus kids at my side job as a school nurse is NOT enough to get my mind off stuff, NOTHING IS!
We had a welcome break of a family visits, which are so wonderful. But still NOT enough. Even seven grand kids under the age of eight and nine adults around a dinner table as loud as it is, is still not enough to stifle the sounds of sadness.
The void of your 6 month old cries and giggles makes it too quiet wherever I turn. I long to nurse you. To hold you. To squeeze your toes and kiss your nose. I saw a little girl that was your age the other day. Dark hair and chubs. She was precious. You are precious. The older you get the harder this is.
I will never be busy enough to drown out the silence of your absence, but that also means I will never be too busy to forget you!
Love ya more than words!
See ya soon,
Mommy
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