Monday, January 12, 2015

Post Funeral

Two years ago today we buried our little girl. I could go on and on about the sadness of the day, but what's the use?
It happened.
It's two years later and life has gone on.
I am a different person. A piece of me broken and I was always walk around with this silent limp.
Today, I am pregnant.
I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. I don't care. I'm not particularly excited about it. I am not particularly sad about it. It just is. Maybe we find out the sex Tuesday some magic will spark within me and I will be excited.
This pregnancy's excited has been replaced with drama and un-needed stress, directly from the places I hoped to find solace.
It is what is. There is no magic potion or positive thought that could change that fact. I am the common denominator within all this. I have for attracted this to me and I must in some way muddle my way to some breathable light.
I let you know when I find out how to do just that. Until then I am in gear survival mode.

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