Let's BOOK it!!!

As most of you know we are doing a book drive in lieu of gifts for Claudie's 1st Birthday Celebration and Balloon Release. Each book will constitute a "kiss" for Claudie so hopefully we can reach our 365 GOAL!

We love this idea because we loved sitting in the big yellow chair reading to our littles (even Claudie in my belly) and we want other parents to create such memories for their littles!

 

Each book will go directly to a NICU baby/family. You are more than welcome to write something kind in the front or "in memory of" a loved one you might have lost.

These books will be used as a bonding experience for the parents and babies since most of the time the are unable to be held.

If you would like to donate a book, you may either bring them to the Birthday Celebration and Balloon Release or we are more than willing to pick them up if you are local. For our out-of-towners that want to donate a book send me a message and I will find the easiest way to get them from you.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

You have each helped ease the pain of last year for us.We hope to see everyone at the celebration and balloon release!

If you would like to attend the celebration you may RSVP here: http://www.evite.com/event/032E2XEFUI3W34KDIEPDH5PPVWDIRI

Big Sister is 4!

Your big sister turns four tomorrow!! Can you believe it?

I so wish you were here to celebrate with us. Today she picked lots of flowers for you!
She is always picking flowers (weeds) for you.


You guys would be so cute together. 

She has this silly little voice and always saying witty and crazy little quips. Like Friday I swerved to the other side of street to avoid a trash truck and she said, "It's like we are in London, mom!" That's Amelie always transporting herself into a dream land.

She is tiny and gets held a lot still which we love because it is nice to have a little one we can snuggle on.

She adores LIFE. She loves BIG. She laughs LOUD!

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Happy Birthday Amelie Cecile! Life is BRIGHTER with you in it!

On Losing LIVING Loved Ones

I excepted to be grief struck at the loss of the twins, my mom, and my daughter. I expected there to be many lonely days without them. But I NEVER NEVER expected to lose LIVING friends and even family members with their death.

It shocked me to my core when it first happened. I thought I was just imagining things. Then there were the friends who deleted me from FB. I realized that people don't like to open their FB page every morning and hear from "debbie-downer" as one friend put it before she deleted and blocked me. I realized I put myself and my emotions out there openly and sometimes that will get a backlash. But I guess what I don't completely understand is why the backlash to begin with?

I am the common denominator in all these situations so it has to be something to do with me right? I have a rather bold personality and have not been shy about how I am feeling most days. However, believe it or not I do hold back on a lot of occasions and times that are kept for me and my heart.

I have also heard from people that it has nothing to do with  "my losses" they have always disliked me. I can respect that. There are people in this world I don't get along with either. But I have known these people most of life. Why now the hateful comments and actions behind my back and some to my face? Am I just now noticing it? Am I too emotional to put up with silly stuff and it becomes something bigger?

I really believe it has more to do than with just me however. I have also seen my more shy, grieving friends feel the surprising backlash from their friends after losing their loved ones. Many people have had difficulties with relationship that before this were seamless. I have noticed the same in my own experiences.

Perhaps, why these people are hurting others that are hurting is because they have been there too and it brings up a prickle in their hearts they have long since tried to suppress. A grief that the mere presence of us brings it to the surface and they can't take it so they have to drive us away in the quickest way possible.

I am not sure really. I am just thinking through it all. I do know that as unexpected as losing loved ones to death was, it is much more shocking that I continue to lose loved ones that are living. It is lonely at times. Very lonely.

(I am sure a bunch of you just read this and said, "um, I have been there for her!" And YOU HAVE! I know I have a wonderful support system. But just as losing a baby isn't replaced with having another baby, losing a living loved one isn't replaced by having lots more that are there for you.)